Xtxbdbwf: The Absurd Imaginary Sport of Champions


Xtxbdbwf (pronounced “Ekstuh-buh-dub-wuh-fuh”) is a wildly creative and downright silly fictional sport dreamed up in the whimsical realm of imagination. This comedic sporting event combines elements of soccer, rugby, croquet, and chess into one absolutely bonkers tournament.


No one knows exactly when or where Xtxbdbwf was invented. Some say its origins can be traced back centuries to eccentric inventors who doodled strange new sports in the margins of their notebooks. According to legend, one particularly quirky imagination scribbled the nonsensical word “Xtxbdbwf” as the title for his absurd stick-figure sketches. The name stuck and a colorful legend was born.

Attempting to summarize the rules of Xtxbdbwf is a fool’s errand, but here goes:

The tournament consists of two teams of 11 players competing on a chessboard-style field split into hexagons. Gameplay involves kicking and carrying a croquet ball across the board and into the opposing team’s “vortex goals” located on each side. Players can eliminate opponents by jumping over them as in checkers or bumping into them as in dodgems. Instead of timeouts, teams can pause play for a quick round of Rock Paper Scissors. And halfway through the match, the board is spun 90 degrees to disorient the competitors.

Gameplay is an eccentric mix of strategy and silliness. Matches tend to involve dramatic kicks, surprise attacks, and lots of pawns being knocked off the board. It’s a crowd-pleasing spectacle of odd athleticism and Theater of the Absurd pageantry.

Xtxbdbwf has developed an enthusiastic underground following in some creative circles. Fans stitch together outrageous uniforms, craft ornate vortex goals, and learn the byzantine rules by heart. The volunteer Xtxbdbwf League organizes chaotic local tournaments worldwide. Winners are awarded quirky prizes like edible trophies, funky scepters, and the coveted Golden Vuvuzela.

While Xtxbdbwf is not an Olympic sport, that hasn’t stopped fans from imagining what it would be like on the world stage. Supporters have even created mock posters of Xtxbdbwf as part of the Summer Games. These artistic homages always depict the tournament in all its strange, messy glory.

So if you’re looking for a sporting event where absurdity is the name of the game, look no further than Xtxbdbwf. Just bring your imagination and sense of humor when attending a match.